9/20/2013

Two Words

I suppose confession is good for the soul.

Twice a week I drive a half hour each way to a small school to teach dual credit classes. Generally, I don't listen to music, so it's just me and the road and my thoughts.

Lately a series of two word statements have been rolling around in my mind, tripping on my tongue, eager to be spoken, acknowledged. Dealt with. Paid respect.

I'm tired.

I hurt.

I'm sad.

I'm unhappy.

Now, the trick is how these two word statements relate to each other. I've not been well in some time and that's beginning to piss me off. It also  makes me tired and unhappy and sad.

Add that to everything life tends to throw at us all at once. It's a wonder it's taken so long to own these statements.

Don't get me wrong. There's plenty good, too. Happy kids are on the top of my list. A job I love. That's good.  Husband who never ceases to surprise me. Check that on the good list, too.

But add another two worder that slips unbidden upon occasion.

I'm lonely.

I know friends come and go. I'm old enough to have seen more go than I ever though would even be there.

And I know I'm blessed to have the friends I do, friends who are unconditional in their care for me.

But still...those damn two word statements rest on my tongue and in my heart, and my mind knows there aren't enough new pairs of shoes in the world to fix those.

I also know these feelings will pass. And they'll cycle back around, too. It's life.

So, to make it more bearable while I wait for them to pass, I'm telling my friends.

I'm tired.

I'm sad.

I'm lonely.

I hurt.

And I know a lot of you are right there with me, feeling the same things.

We'll get through this. Together.


5 comments:

kathleen said...

yes-((((()))))

usethebrains godgiveyou said...

So sorry. Hold on...hold on. It's real pain,sometimes it feels like you've been run over and it would be easy just to give in. Hold on.

usethebrains godgiveyou said...

So sorry...hold on, hold on, hold on.

It feels like being run over by a truck, but don't let it slice and dice your spirit.

You are not alone.

Socrates said...

I'm tired; I'm sad; I'm lonely; and I hurt because I have terminal cancer. Not a journey I expected to be making just yet. But I'm through all the wailing and gnashing of teeth, and I just want to spend the rest of my not-very-many days with other members of the human race.

What can I say? At the end of the day we're all in it together - we'll just have to keep our chins up and march to the Front. What else is there to do? *hugs* to you all and to the human race in all it's woeful imperfections.

Sheesh! It's enough to turn a man to God/Alternative Rationalisation :)

K Wombles said...

Socrates,

I'm so sorry to hear that.