Tomorrow...50 new students to meet and greet and teach and mystify...
I woke up grinning this morning. Grinning. I can't tell how long it's been since I woke up smiling. Depression does that to you--robs you of joy when you wake up and realize it's a new day. I'd say depression is definitely on the retreat, chronic sorrow tucked back away out of sight for now, and I'm excited and happy at the prospect of a total of 143 students, most of whom are brand new to me.
There was a time that the thought of all new faces, that many new faces, would have terrified me, had me physically ill. I can't help but laugh out loud at the realization that this is no longer true of me. How much does that rock? I can't wait. I plan and plot at night, ready to go. I mentally tweak the lectures and smile as I finally fall asleep, only to dream of work.
I am so lucky to have the perfect job for me, to be exactly where I want to be career-wise. What a tremendous relief. It's silly the difference a title can make, but going from 4/5ths instructor to tenure track professor makes all the difference. I'm all the way in, finally. I've been teaching at my college since 2005, working hard to get where I wanted to be, and I'm here finally. And it makes me giggly.
So at 8 am tomorrow 25 of those new faces are going to see a middle aged lady with bright pink hair, decked out in matching bright pink shoes and shirt and scarf (Lily's helping me be stylish), giggle through the opening day's lecture....hah, I can't imagine a better way to start the day. :)