2/16/2013

Tears and Explaining

Navigating pre-adolescent relationships is, well, let's face it, we were all there once and it wasn't a picnic for any of us, I'm sure. It's a rough time for even the best adjusted, least hormonal kids. Add in communication issues and extremely sensitive feelings, and heartache is a near daily constant, not just for our children, but us as parents.

We want to fix it. Erase the hurt. And probably kick a little metaphorical ass. Yeah, except none if that is our job. Our job is to help our children cope with the occasional insensitive remark, understand where the other kid might be coming from, and then, come up with ways to disarm the kid the next time the situation arises. If it's not a situation where bullying is occurring, we need to back up and trust that we can give our kids the tools they need to handle it themselves.

Yes, it sucks, and we can and should communicate that with our kids. And then we can get down to tool building by asking questions, coming up with a variety of come backs, and then role playing. If we do that, then our child walks away feeling empowered and understood, and ready for the next time.

They don't need to know that we, in our minds, go all ninja style.

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