Boredom feels like a storm that just won't start

Maybe it's as much restlessness as it is boredom...maybe it's that I return to work Monday and classes begin on the 27th, so I'm skin jumpy--I want to work on my classes more, but I already know that there will be some changes to my schedule, so I'm putting that work off until my schedule is finalized...I don't do well with waiting. I like to move...

Maybe it's that we've had so many cloudy, ready-to-rumble days where rain looked promising but went around us. All show and no substance...

But I'm itchy, restless, and bored, unable to find something I want to do because what I want to do would be a waste of time. I like control, so having to wait, having to accept a lack of control, sucks.

It sucks seeing the clouds, knowing the potential for refreshing, desperately needed rain, and knowing there's nothing you can do to make the downpour start.

It sucks to feel a single raindrop and be denied the storm.

It sucks to see the ground so dry and barren, to see the trees dying and know you can't stop it.

Those days where you are fully and totally aware of how little control you really have...well, they leave you skin-jumpy.


melbo said...

You draw these analogies so well.

I'm amazed how many of us are in that skin-jumpy space right now. It was so palpable with me yesterday and it has been building for a while.

I hope you get a change in the weather soon. Literally and figuratively!

farmwifetwo said...

It stopped raining again here. Nothing for the next week. But from Wed to the Wed before it dumped 4". Which would be more in total that we've had since the end of May.

Now I have to mow the grass :( Atleast Dh is home in the evenings and it came just as they ran out of water to irrigate with so I'm not complaining.

We're down to 2wks before school. They need to go back and I have a huge list of things to do as soon as they are out of the house. One of the biggest cons to Russ' autism... the 24/7 supervision. Russ' biggest peeve about autism... Mommy won't let him go anywhere he wants, whenever he wants.

Kim Wombles said...

Thanks, melbo. :)

fw2,if you didn't need the rain, too, I'd be jealously demanding you share it!

Stephanie said...

Before we left, Wisconsin seemed very dry, and it was for Wisconsin. Then, when we visited Colorado, I saw how badly they needed the rain and what their version of dryness really looked like.

It was so sad to see the clouds rolling in across the horizon, full and heavy and dark, but to feel only a few drops of rain before the clouds rolled right over to the distance.

Life feels like that, too, of course. Though, I'm almost done with my graduate degree, so I'm looking forward to classes starting up again. Sooner they start, sooner they finish, sooner I get to celebrate. Then again, sooner I have to start paying off those loans. Maybe waiting is good.