Bloody Beeping Hell

First Alert Smoke Alarm

Since yesterday morning, various smoke alarms in our house have been incessantly beeping. We've changed batteries. Rick even disconnected one after three different batteries failed to stop the beeping. And yet the other alarms continue to chirp, punctuating everything we do in this house, including the fist shaking and cursing.

The disconnected one sits in my lap now, so I can see if it's still beeping (it's not, but it has a hissy fit if we take the battery out of it--it's like they have a life of their own!). Intellectually, I can understand making these little frakkers so annoying. I really can. If they aren't annoying when their batteries need changing, people won't change them, and then when the alarms are needed, they won't be working and lives will be lost. I get it. I really do, but I tell you what, I could take a damned bat to these little frakkers after 24 non-stop hours of listening to them chirp. 

Okay, to be fair, we probably should have immediately gone to the store and gotten brand new batteries (but we had batteries still in their mother-frakking pack in the drawer so that we were ready after the last time these "alarms" went haywire-pissy several years ago). And truthfully, after nearly 23 years of parenting, I can tune out a lot (read that to mean anything shy of blood-curdling screams), so yeah, I know the alarms are chirping, but it doesn't really bother me most of the time--I can sit next to Rick's iphone's alarm going off for minutes and do nothing with it until he finally comes into the room and decides to silence it (either I'm incredibly tolerant or really lazy).

What bothers me, I think, most of all about the bloody beeping is not the beeping itself but how hard it is to make them stop the beeping. You have to get on a stepstool, fiddle around with the alarm, replace the battery, and do that over and over until magically the beeping stops or you disconnect the damned thing, which really pisses off all the other alarms so that you get blood-curdling cries from them, mourning for the loss of a beloved brother alarm.

Yes, I've anthropomorphicized (that's a bitch to spell) the little frakkers (not the word I use in my head), but if you had something constantly chirping and beeping in your ear, you would, too.

Rick's on his way home from the store where he has gotten brand new batteries to silence the buggers, so we'll see if that works. It's like making an offering to an angry beeping god, I tell you. If it doesn't, the bat is always an option. Of course, we could take the time to read the information on the website about these alarms, too.


Joeymom said...

Have you check the carbon monoxide levels in your house? Many smoke alarms also have monoxide alarms in them now. Thats what it turned out to be at my mom's.

K Wombles said...

Ours are nearly ten years old--so they are just smoke detectors. Two of them aren't chirping--had to disconnect the other four and take their batteries out to get it to stop--replacing the batteries on them apparently pissed off the ones that weren't chirping, and I learned that there are some things I can't tune out after all--things that will make me batshit crazy, by the way.

Anonymous said...

Bah! That happened to my apartment not long ago. It was a long couple of days. Sadly, you probably just need to totally replace the detectors if they're getting to be 7-10 years old. We tried everything, too--replaced all batteries multiple times, the "test" button, the "silence" button...and finally found the labels on the back that said "replace unit after 7 years," which happened to have been the length of time we've lived here. Asked the landlords to replace them...and that stopped the beeping.