I tried to get her to go to school, walk into the classroom and holler out, "Hey peeps, only two more days for you to get the chance to play with me!" but she won't do it. She giggled, and it made her feel a little better, but it didn't do anything to solve the root problem of not being able to initiate contact or maintain a reciprocal conversation. Bless her heart. I get it. I do. So working with Lily and her to overcome shyness and just jump in with both feet, as I've learned to do, is something we focus on regularly. At some point, you just have to not give a shit what people think and find a way to have fun with the things that make you scared down to your core--screwing with people's expectations is one of the ways I've found to do that.
It works for me.
Sometimes I am surprised with what my kids observe and believe. I was trying to convince Rick to help me out by painting my toenails last night, and the girls were in the living room with us. I cajoled and pleaded, "But all the other moms at the awards ceremony had painted toenails with their tricked out flip flops! You don't want me to stand out do you?" Lily immediately yelled, "But Mom, you do stand out. You can't help it!"
Alrighty then, another tactic since Rick wasn't taking the nail polish bottle from me: "Don't you want me to fit in with all the other moms?" Lily again leaped in, "Mom, you don't fit in! You know that!" Thanks, kid, for stating the obvious. Damn, if it's that obvious to a child on the spectrum, it must blindingly obvious to everyone else, right?
Oh hell. My toes are painted a nice pepto-bismol pink, though. You should have seen Rick wearing my reading glasses, kneeling on the floor, hollering he still couldn't see my littlest toe's nail to paint. Okay, I get it, my little hobbit feet don't have much in the way of toenails, but damnit, I'm trying to conform! I don't want to go get a pedicure, though--screw that kind of conformity. So until I can reliably reach my toes or train Lil, the man's got the job...
Of course, I don't know that anybody is going to notice my pretty hobbity pink toes when my hair is a mix of white blonde, orange, and pink. That probably draws all the focus...shit. Maybe the kid's right.
Oh, okay. The kid is right. I do stand out. I don't fit in. I can live with being a group of one. ;)