In All Seriousness
For some reason I ordered two sets of two potted silk peonies (they were sold individually). Now, I can see wanting two...but four? Did I see them online and go, "oh, lovely" and order them two separate times? How did I forget I ordered the first set? They came a day apart, so I had to forget pretty damn fast to do this.
Now, this is not what really concerns me...what concerns me, in all seriousness, is that I've lined them up on the ottoman. Now, the lining up is fine--that's just good sense. The problem is I have an ottoman on the other side of my sunflower rug that doesn't have four peonies lined up. See my problem?
No symmetry. How long do you give me before I order four more damned peonies so that I can have symmetry (no, I'm not going to the perfectly logical thing of taking two and putting them on the other ottoman when clearly the perfect number is four!)? Do you think I will order those extra four because I really want 8 pink potted silk peonies in my sunflower and daisy living room (ok, and sock monkey, Dr. Who, Serenity, Star Trek, Stargate and Battlestar living room, too)? No...not really...but I've arranged them and I have some slight (really, minimal, I swear) tendencies with OCD. For the love of God, if I don't move the peonies now, by the end of the day I'll have ordered four more. And then I'll start looking for peony pillows for the couches and peony rugs.
Look, I have enough damned things going on in the room without adding pink peonies to it. Let's not even get started on the pale pink gerbera daisies in the lovely yellow pot sitting on the other ottoman, because when I'm ordering the four frakking peonies I'll be ordering another pink gerbera daisy arrangement.
Oh, okay. I confess, the shit's already in my online shopping cart. Sigh. All I have to do is hit order.
*Shockingly, also written while completely sober.
Crafted for your viewing consumption by Kim Wombles