Rick and I have been together for over 22 years. I was going to joke and say LONG years, but have they been? We met when I was 19 and he was 24, at AIT (advanced individual training) in the Army. He was reclassing into terrain analysis and I was a new boot learning how to operate a printing press (boy does that date us?). It’s been more than half my life, and it’s closing in on half his life that we’ll have spent together. I think it’s lovely, actually, that we still tolerate each other as well as we do. I’m still irked that he’s said I have enough roosters, especially when I totally have more buddhas than roosters, and he’s started ripping my ivy off the house (thanks Science Mom for the heads up), ruining the fun of getting scared shitlessby critters and writing fun posts about theattack of ivy, but he has a point; it had invaded one of the seams and was growing in the wall.
So, obviously, we’re not identical; we spend a fair amount of time bickering. He spends a lot of time playing Sims 3 while I interact with real (?) people on the internet. We disagree on chotchkies every now and then. But overall, we’re very similar, even if we take completely different routes to get to the same place. In fact, what drew me to him in the first place was a recognition that he was a kindred spirit. I can still see in my mind that first encounter. I know when it happened, and it still makes me smile to remember the first time I ever saw him, and then a few days later, the first time we ever talked.
I don’t think we’ve grown more alike over the years, but we’ve continued to share similar interests (though not all). I think we’ve settled more firmly into ourselves, our skins, and we’ve been able to do so because of the unconditional love and support for the other (you know the kind of support that says ‘go ahead, do what you want as long as you don’t expect me to alter my life so you can do it’ kind of support). But still, as a science-based person, what I want to know is, were we always relatively disorganized and pack rats or can I blame that on Rick?
A new study looks at whether we marry people like us or we become more alike over time. Humbad et al. found that it appears to be a matter of marrying a partner who’s similar to us rather than a matter of mind-melding (okay, they didn’t call it mind-melding, but that would be totally cool).
Is this revolutionary science? Eh. No. But it’s good to test common sense notions and see if they hold up to the scrutiny of science.
So, I’m guessing, based on this latest science, that I can’t blame my trunk’s messiness on Rick’s tendency to messiness?
my trunk, filled with psychology tests I need to take into the office
Rick’s trunk. I have no idea what his excuse is.
Mikhila N. Humbad a,*, M. Brent Donnellan a, William G. Iacono b, Matthew McGue b, S. Alexandra BurtPersonality and Individual Differences (2010). doi:10.1016/j.paid.2010.07.010
Updated from post over at wordpress countering: Rick cleaned his trunk after I made the original post. Turkey.