5/13/2010

Louise Visits: Pussy Patch Arkansas..hot bed a intrigue an such..


Well hey there . I'm just stoppin by ta give y'all an update an such. I see that my gal Thelma done told ya bout our troubles with Milo T. and tha chickens an whatnot. Boy howdy an a bucket a extra crispy! Our boy Milo's flown tha coop! His cocka's a few clucks short of a doodle doo! That's for damn true!

My gal Thelma's had herself quite tha time of it keepin things here in good ol Stink Creek on one a them even keels iffen ya ken me. Sad ta say I aint been around much ta help. It wadn't that I didn't want to! No sir! It's just that I had myself some emergency business to attend to over in Pussy Patch. That's right Pussy Patch Arkansas home a tha famous pussy willow parade and Clara's Ham Hock cannery. It's also tha headquarters of "Union of Daring Dancers Eager or Retired"or "UDDER" as us gals like ta call it

Now I'ma guessin y'all are wonderin what kind a emergency tha gals of "UDDER" might all be havin? Well is seems tha mayor a Pussy Patch Eunice Gibbons and Mittens Wydell (owner a Clara's ham hock cannery) is having some intense negotiatin an such. Just so happens that both a these gals is the foundin mothers of "UDDER". Well, they been a fightin and a hollerin an carryin on tryin ta git tha other members ta take sides an all. Ya see every year Mittens gives a lot a scratch towards the pussy willow festival. Eunice is tha chairwoman. Mittens wants ta advertise her cannery and Eunice thinks it all should be about the pussy willows. Mittens says without her pork there wouldn't be a parade and Eunice yells that pork aint got no business mixing with pussy willows! Me? Hell, I just want ta dance! Damn foolish women! This aint a either /or situation. Why they dragged us ladies in is beyond me. "UDDER" aint supposed ta be about pork or pussy willows! It was supposed ta be about protectin tha rights of us older dancin gals. Makin sure we wadn't discriminated against an what not. Hell us older ladies got enough on our minds what with keepin our bosoms bouncy and our bottoms a bumpin! Medicare don't cover everythin ya know! Hell! Just a good set a pasties can set ya back a pace! OOEE! add tha cost a some tassles and a touch n glow taser an your lookin at a fair bit a green!

I'll tell ya it takes a lot ta chap my bodashuss behind. I seen a lot an done a hell of a lot more! That's for damn true! But this was just foolish pride gettin in tha way a some good work! After about ten minutes a listenin to them arguin, I jumped inta my jet stream and hit tha road for home. I'm thinkin on startin my own chapter of "UDDER" right here in good old Stink Creek. Though I'm a scared that Mama H will try an join. The idea a her shakin her goods an swingin on a pole with wrinkled pasties....Good lord an a side'o sweat socks! Don't that paint a scary picture. Even Miss Louise has her limits!

Well I'm about tuckered out. I'm gonna leave y'all now. I'm gonna round up my gal Thelma, a case a tha Boones and a Baretta dvd. Hells bells an Jesus danced! It's good ta be home. That's for damn true!

For those folks interested, I'm startin me a new seminar down at the senior center next Sunday. "BYOB! Cause sometimes two birds in your bush is better than one in your hand" As always, all are welcome. Hope ta see y'all there!

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