Kim: Providing you another break from all things autism, Louise's piece recounting their preparations for the Stink Creek Spring Festival:
Well hey there. Been a while since I set myself down and had a chat with y'all. I'm hopin y'all are doin fine. Me an my gal Thelma has been busy bee's. What with the plannin of the Stink Creek Spring festival an such. . This is the first year we is head of tha committee, so we want ta make it a doozie! So besides the usual spring festival activities i.e. the parade, beauty-pageant and bible verse jeopardy and gopher toss( the contestent recites bible verses while tryin to toss gophers through a hoop) We got ouselves a pie eatin contest, garden tours and my favorite, a battle a tha gospel singin bands! No matter what the music,Miss Louise loves to dance! Yee HA! Shake shake shake..Shake your good book! Shake your good book!
Got lots a folks excited about this. Lots a churches wantin to participate an such. It's done led to a little bit of a situation. We got too many bands tryin out and we had ta narrow it down ta three. Now most folks is understandin bout this. And Me and my gal Thelma was tryin to be impartial. Some a the bands is good..but some a them..Boy howdy! lets just say Mama H and the prune sound better playin tha bed springs iffen ya ken me! I was right thankful I had bought a bit of tha Boones ta help ease our weary weary heads. Thats for damn true. After a long long night of listenin, me and my gal Thelma finally narrowed it down. We chose in no particular such order "Lester Booth and the deuteronomy boys" out a Nimrod Baptist, "Haley jo and her Hooters a glory" out a Goldenville Eternal Resurrection, And "Reubarb Wilson and Tha Sisters a Sin" from good old Stink Creek!
Course some folks had there feelins hurt an whatnot. But they mostly got over it..specially when Thelma pulled out her jugs (she plays a mean jug..has even won contests an such) and we had ourselves a regular jam session..with yours truly doin a little a what I do best! Pole dancin! What a time we had..a singing and a struttin..OOEE carousin till all hours. Would a been a fine night if it wadn't for Bonnie Apron. She didn't take to kindly to her band not makin tha cut.
Bonnie aint used ta bein left out a the spotlight. Hell she and her band "The holy Rollers" (out a Stink Creek church of eternal yearning and discount clothing store) even have themselves one a them public access cable t.v. shows. They is pretty popular with some folks. Singing songs and chattin about clothes an whatnot. Problem is, Bonnie aint singing the gospel like its written. No sir! She juast singin her point a view and callin it gospel truth! Dang womans head has gotten so pumped up with popularity she aint payin attention ta what all she's singin! A croonin things like "Iffen ya don't wear pink, Jesus says your soul will sink" and "I know tha way an tha truth an tha light..cause Jesus called an said I'm right." Me an my gal Thelma tried ta set her straight. Tellin her she ought get her scripture learnin right. But she didn't want no part of it. She told us the bible was just too long and had too many big words in it. She just didn't have time..what with her singin and shoppin and television career. She's kinda full a herself our Bonnie is. So you could say she was plenty pissy about not makin tha battle a tha gospel bands. She sure did raise a stink..a cussin and a yellin that she was bein victimized and bullied an whatnot. Stormed outta there in a righteous kind a tizzy she did. Sure was a site ta see-what with her stompin away in her pink pleather boots and matchin sweater set. Like cotton candy in a blender only not as fluffy.
I spect she's gettin over it. It aint easy fallin off your pedestal an such. Why I even saw her just last week on my way to the senior center.(I'm teachin a new course called "Squeezin is pleasin, your kegel excercises an you") She was settin on the library steps all scrunched up like with her nose in a book. She was readin "The Bible for dummies" I'ma hopin it sinks in.Only time will tell. Anyways thats all the news from Stink Creek for now. Me and my gal Thelma wish y'all a happy healthy spring.