Slings and Arrows of Blogging: A Tarnishing

A recent thread at RFID, specifically within the comments and the charge that the use of the phrase 'the bright boy' was a "degradingly patronizing phrase" that I would not use if he were not disabled, has me fired up. This, undoubtedly, was the commenter's purpose, as the blogosphere is littered with his screeds, enough so that I banned him from Countering and Thelma and Louise told him he could move on, as well. Why I engaged him again, over at RFID, with what I know of him, knowing it was a collosal waste of time, is beyond me. I've left all his comments in place because I think it reflects poorly on him and serves a purpose. On a post about what neurodiversity means to those of us running RFID that someone could go so over the top and read all manner of things into the post, into our collective writings: it serves as a good reminder that some people are asses whose only goal is to mess with people.

Still, and I afford this person more weight than he deserves, that anyone could read my posts regarding my beautiful son and take that position sticks in my throat. For many of us parents blogging, we do not refer to our children by their names but instead nicknames, in part to protect them, in part because our nicknames for them reflect attributes we delight in.

So, it sticks, as it feels like an attack not of me, but of my bright boy. Would I still call him my bright boy if he weren't disabled? Hell, yes, I would. He shines. He is sweet and radiant and I love him with all of me. Would I love him less if he had not been autistic, if he had not had a stroke, if I had not nearly lost him? No, I don't think I so; he would still shine. Does he shine brighter because of all this, to me? Yes. Because I live daily knowing that he has a blood clotting disorder that can take him from me without warning, because I have been there, sat there, lived through the experiences I have with him, he shines all the brighter.

upon opening a joke gift I knew would get a rise :-)

**To the particular commenter: now we're done.**


Socrates said...

I would advocate giving them as much space as you're able to make asses of themselves.

It does, however become a problem when they start taking up most of the screen's real estate.

Clay said...

The lurker's attention-seeking tactics should be seen for what they are, no more and no less. It really is pathetic, and I alternate between being annoyed, and really sorry for the poor loser.

Phil Schwarz said...

A-NOS (asshole, not otherwise specified) is emerging as the most significantly underdiagnosed condition in the general population. Some A-NOS sufferers are clever enough to learn how to get a rise out of you by attacking your children. Don't let 'em get you down.
I'm probably showing my age by admitting it, but Will Crowther's classic ADVENTURE is my all-time favorite computer game. (See http://www.ir.bbn.com/~bschwart/adventure.html; although she has a similar surname, the author is unrelated to me.) It's too bad that it isn't as easy to get rid of trolls in real life as it is in ADVENTURE ("THROW BEAR").

Belinda the Nobody said...

Ah, that low-blow. That made me have a definite "WT....F?!?" moment. I'm pretty sure a lot of parents call their kids their bright boy/girl, whether their children are disabled or not. I've seen/heard it many times...

If he thinks that's... what was it... "degradingly patronizing".... maybe he should spend some time with my gran. I don't like to see her anymore. She keeps calling me an "idiot savant". I don't think I need to say what's wrong with that. Not to mention I'm not a savant at all anyhow. Ugh.

KWombles said...

Oh, Belinda, that's so unkind of your grandmother. I wouldn't want to see her either!

Thanks, Phil. Maybe from now on, if someone with A-NOS posts, I'll just respond with THROW BEAR and laugh. :-)

Clay, all of them from that side inspire that twin set of annoyancen and sympathy. If they weren't so miserable, they wouldn't need to spread it around.

Socrates, yes; it's not hard to do, step back and let folks like him start typing, but he does take up the screen's real estate quickly!