12/17/2009

My Soul Overflows, the twinkling of my heart shattering from such grace

’T is so much joy! ’T is so much joy!

If I should fail, what poverty!
And yet, as poor as I
Have ventured all upon a throw;
Have gained! Yes! Hesitated so 
This side the victory!
--Emily Dickinson

 
Parenting is not easy.  I don't care who you are, what gifts or challenges your children bring. Parenting shatters the soul, then rebuilds it, only to shatter it again. It never ends. Your love grows and grows. Your heart expands to bursting. There is intensity in parenting, intensity of emotions, intensity in action.
 
Maybe some people didn't get that? Weren't ready for all the demands that parenting places on you? That your heart leaves your chest and resides with your children, and you are left incomplete, a hollow in your chest when they are away, when they hurt?
 
Some of us, though, we are made better by being mothers and fathers. We accept a heart grown too big for our chest. We learn to ride the rollercoaster waves of emotions our children elicit in us. We expand and grow and get ready to take on the world for our children, even as we learn when we must not, must let them take on the world on their own.
 
My blog list to the right has swelled to a hundred blogs I follow. A hundred! No doubt it will grow more. I cannot showcase everyone here in this blog, so if I have left yours out, forgive me and know that time constrained me and  add a comment below asking if I thought you were chopped liver. :-) I promise you, I did not.
 
There are parents out there who choose to move forward, move onward, move upward. Who choose to write blogs that deal more personally with the challenges they and their children face. Who choose to write with humor, grit, and determination. There are parents who keep from the personal and who write blogs about the latest on autism. I am sure there are thousands of blogs I've not yet come across that more than balance those whose blogs are rarely pleasant to visit.
 
Here, in no particular order:
 
Kathleen
 
Jeanette
 
Angela (get crackin', girl! Where did you go?)
 
Emily
 
Club 166
 
Petunia
 
HammiesBlog
 
Jazzygal
 
Confutata
 
Ken
 
Kev, Sullivan, and Mike
 
Atilla the Mom
 
 
Thank you for your blogs, for your laughter, your pathos, for sharing your journeys, for showing how you cope, how you celebrate life. For showing that you get it, that you figured out that parenting isn't about you. Was never about you. It's about your child. And that the journey isn't about the destination but about the trip itself and finding grace, finding joy in the midst of it all, all the mess, all the chaos.

2 comments:

kathleen said...

Thanks Kim..:)
But hey-lets not forget "detritus" so definitely not chopped liver.

Clay said...

I enjoy a lot of those blogs, but there are a couple I seldom run across. I'll check them out.

What you say about parenting seems to be from another world than the one I've known - a much better one.