11/03/2009

Making a Joyful Noise: What we love about our children (and ourselves)

Wednesday: a day of truce, a day to celebrate and find joy. Deal?

And not just to celebrate our children. If you are an adult on the spectrum, what about yourself brings you joy? Don't be bashful!

My bright boy, have I told you how much I love him? How just thinking of him brings tears to my eyes? He feels keenly, deeply. He doesn't always understand it, but he feels it and he keeps feeling it, years later. He hates injustice, deeply, at the bone level, you know?

My Lily, she's a lot like me. She wants to do her best. She came home with an 88 on a paper and had two separate crying jags because she had missed six things. Just the previous week, there I was deeply disappointed with my 86 on a chem test and an 87 on the A & P. Perfectionism, the need to do better, know more, my Lily has that. And she is intensely curious. My heart breaks with love for her

Oh Rosie, a sweeter little garden girlie with issues, you've never met. She has big blue eyes that melt your heart. She crinkles her nose when she's thinking, which is always. She was upset the other night that the letters on the keyboard weren't in alphabetical order. Who'd have thought my heart would keep expanding, growing? Putty, my children make me complete putty. Mushy putty. :-)

Our children are our lives. They are our breath. We live for them We would die for them. We celebrate them for who they are, where they are, as they are. They are our souls.

Celebrate your children here today. Revel in them, just as they are, for who they are.

And go beyond that. Relish who you are. What do you celebrate about yourself?

I celebrate my intensity. I fully invest in what I do (good, bad or otherwise, I like my perseveration, even if it drives some folks crazy).

No meanness here today. Got it? One nice day. A day off. A break. Spread the word around, and come celebrate.

19 comments:

Mom26children said...

Caitlin, my first born...beautiful, innocent and brilliant. She taught me how to be a mom.
Deirdre, the smartest person I know. She taught me how to not judge. She is goodness in the best sense of the word.
Erin, perseverence in it's greatest form. She taught me there is no such thing as giving up.
Meaghan, caring and funny. She taught me that it is okay to be goofy and not care what others think about that.
Patrick, my first born son. He taught me about a mother's love for a boy. Much different than that of a girl. Boy's love their mommy's all of the time.
Kiernan, my youngest has instilled a calmness in me that is unexplainable. He shows me that love does not have to be spoken, but shown. I hope I do that with everyone I love.

Heraldblog said...

Christopher is 14, but still wants to be tickled and hugged. And even though he's nearly as tall as me, and surpasses my senior wrestling weight in high school, I happily oblige. Sometimes we play a game called American Tickle Institute, where I pretend to take a phone call from Dr. VonKitzel.

"Hi Dr. VonKitzel. Yes, Chris is here. I'd be glad to help out with your study. Uh huh. A triple foot-chin-tummy tickle? I can do that. One minute, please."

Chris also likes to hide under a blanket when he hears me coming up the stairs. I pretend not to see him, but do notice an unusual lump underneath the blanket. "Hmmm, what's this big lump?" I wonder aloud. "And where's Chris? I thought I heard him up here. Oh well, it's been a long day, so I think I'll just throw myself on this big, squishy lump. It's probably just a pillow." The big moment comes when I throw back the covers and discover Chris, curled up like a bug, giggling uncontrollably. "It was you the whole time!" I exclaim.

Then Dr. Von Kitzel calls.

NightStorm The Aspiewolf said...

I love all my students at HHC, I love how they always wave and greet me their eyes bright and happy. I love when R bounces and flaps his hands when he sees me. I love it when L waved and says loudly. "HIIIIII"

I love my godson Topher and his friend Sebastian <3 they are my "little men"

cawill said...
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cawill said...
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CrysAM said...

I love Jay's sense of humor, his intensity, and his openness. He works so hard every day, and inspires me in so many ways :) He's a remarkable person.

Navywifeandmom said...

Well Kim, I never thought I'd post here (you know who I am) but hell, this is a really cool thread and my five kids are the bees knees to me (doesn't every parent think so) :) And Craig posted here too (hi Craig)! So here goes:

My eight year old daughter loves Littlest Pet Shop. She loves anything to do with animals, really. She also draws some of the most amazing artwork I have ever seen and I'm not just saying that because she is my child. Other adults in her life have marvelled over it. She told me the other day that she wants to be an artist when she grows up and I think that's a good choice. She will do quite well. I told her to go for it and follow her dreams.

My six and a half year old is my ASD kiddo. Like Craig's son, she is much happier and healthier with the DAN! protocol (you can even see the difference in photographs between last year and this year; she looks WAY better than she did). Anyways, onto how great she is :) She likes Hello Kitty and Spongebob Squarepants and will run up to greet her daddy when he comes home. She will snuggle up next to him on the couch and feel his scratchy whiskers after a long weekend when he hasn't shaved because he didn't have to work. She likes anything with bright lights and LOVES water; I have to lock the bathrooms upstairs or she will flood the whole house. I did get her some swimming lessons this summer and I really hope some day she will be high-functioning enough to maybe swim for the Special Olympics (she still does not understand rules or games or know how to play at all, so we need to get there first). I think that would be right up her ally. All her language sounds to me like a stroke patient, but every now and then words creep out. She likes piggy-back rides, big hugs, can give kisses, and has very little stranger anxiety. She likes to sneak, just like Craig's son does. She is very cute and I call her "Ramona Quimby" like the Beverly Cleary books because she has a similar hairstyle that is short and easy to care for. Teachers at both her schools have nicknamed her "Strawberry Shortcake" because of her strawberry blonde hair and freckles. I hope she talks someday because I would love to know what is going on in her head when she floods our bathrooms.

My five-year-old boy loves to make people laugh. In fact we have a problem in that he does not know when to QUIT joking with people and get serious. I have a feeling in a few years I'm going to be getting calls from the school about how he wouldn't quit goofing off in class and got sent to the principal's office. He's THAT boy, if you know what I mean. He is very smart and loves to take things apart with tools. One day he wanted the batteries replaced in one of his toys and I told him I was tired and I was NOT going to get up, rummage through his dad's tools and replace the batteries. Well, he went and did it himself. He was only three at the time and I was shocked that he had been able to manipulate that big screwdriver that was the same size as his head.

My three-year-old daughter has a lot of spark to her. I call her my wise little owl. She loves to be a little mother and play with dolls. She loves to color. She sucks her first two fingers and will plop her cute little self down next to anyone who needs some company and just be with them, sucking her fingers and being cute.

My one-year-old is just now beginning to walk. He is so happy and always has a smile on his face. He has bright blue eyes and long black eyelashes. He has this laugh that sounds like Ernie from Sesame Street that he does when he is doing something naughty or mischevious. He loves to "help" me put away dishes from the dishwasher (more like he crawls on the door of the dishwasher when it is open and starts handing me silverware faster than I can put it away).

And that's it! Hope you don't mind.

Navywifeandmom said...

"She also is extremely protective of her little brother, and grows quite insulted when someone, intentionally or unintentionally, insults her brother. She understands that it is immature and in poor taste to demean children who are unable to defend themselves."

I should add, my NT children are like this too, the way Craig described his daughters. They love their sister and will defend her to the death. They also don't seem afraid to approach children with other special needs that are more obvious, like a child in a wheelchair with CP. And I think this is great and due in part to HAVING a sister that needs special care.

KWombles said...

Navywifeandmom,

I don't mind. I'm glad to read your posts here. When I extended my hand those months ago in friendship, I meant it. Your children sound delightful. :-)

To all who have shared so far, thank you; it's been a joy to read your posts, to read the love, the delight, the joy you have in your children. Now, spread the word and tell folks to get over here and celebrate their children.

One happy day, one day of joy, no matter who we are, no matter what path we follow, no matter our obstacles.


(and a side note, I see that there are comments coming in on the other thread that lead to me posting this one, through my email as they are posted; I'm not opening those emails and or looking on that thread today. I'm not. I'll look tomorrow; I'll respond tomorrow, but for today I'm going to pretend the two of you aren't bashing each other up. So don't take my silence there as consent or approval. I don't know what you're saying. I'm gonna pretend that you both decided to be best friends for today-- because what I read above shows me two fathers who love their children deeply and completely. I'm pretending that you both are acting like the smart, savvy men I believe you to be, and that you're choosing to see the humanity in the other. That you're choosing rational, reasonable discourse. You've done it before. Do it again. Now, that's probably not what's happening. But, by gosh, it's the way I'm going to think of it today. No raining on my parade.)

Kumbaya-it can happen! Even if I have to drag some folks by their ears. :-)

Sirenity said...

Wonderful posts!
My oldest is 19 now, all warm humour, cutting sarcasm mixed with that wide eyed confidant grinning that seems to be the hallmark of young adults. I am very proud of him, he is very involved with his siblings, working hard at putting aside funds to go after some courses (he wants to be a nutritionist).
My daughter just turned twelve. She is incredible! She is the star of her wrestling team, plays guitar, sings with abandon, straight A's and mouthy as can be. Puberty is rough on us parents (and younger siblings, lol) but it has been amazing to watch her grow into her abilities, develop her humor and compassion.
My youngest just turned 11. He is so dynamic. So incredibly intelligent-straight A's with adaptations for written work. He can build anything (be it lego or with popsicle sticks, doesnt matter what). It's fascinating to watch him think through an engineering problem-I just hope we can find ways to nurture those skills!
He has developed a sense of humor that is engaging, although not always appropriate, lol.

I love my kids. Thank you all for sharing your love for your children!
Hugs and laughter

kathleen said...

My kids are all such wonderful fabulous huggable squeezable joyful bundles of goodness..Sammy, my artist is a sensitive soul-his passionis for art and all things "teen titan", Ed Ed and Eddie..and oddly social justice. Oscar is my comedian..he loves words..he likes saying things that will just make you laugh-one of his latest has been to yell "farmers nipples!" at the top of his voice...and I can't help but laugh-and he knows it. Lily, my honey girlie girl will one day rule the world! She loves with fierce passion-as her teacher wrote, she sometimes has her own agenda..she is wild and wonderful..Zoe, my baby girlie girl..is my quite one..the observer..still waters run deep. She is my constant side kick-so loving and trusting. I am so so blessed..and thoroughly loved. Love seems to weak a word for what I feel for them-I am in awe.

Emily said...

TH is my heart. That's all there is to it. He's funny, insightful, goofy, loving, honest, kind, and absolutely unique. Dubya is my divergent-thinking artistic genius, the man of my mind, the one who sees well beyond any boxes people try to build around him. And Little? He's our everything, our natural comic, our Wild Thing, our tough little fella, our love bug. There really aren't words good enough to express how much I love my children. Of all the people we (my husband and I) know, there's no one else we'd rather spend time with than these three profoundly funny, interesting little boys.

Corina Becker said...

I love my cats, to curl up with them on the bed and nap together.

To read books in a comfy chair with a good cup of tea.

To be with friends who you know so well that you can just sit and not have to say a word, but they know what you mean anyways.

To curl up in thick blankets and tuck them around myself, all cozy and safe.

To stare at objects, out windows and at fans, start at them until there are no words, there are no shapes, there is only feeling and the wandering stories.

To listen to the rain as it falls and to watch raindrops slid down the windowpane.

To listen to music, to close my eyes and feel music strumming in my bones. To hum and join the music in perfect harmony.

To be in big, wide open and vast spaces, to feel the sun and wind against my skin, the earth underneath my feet, to hear the crashing waves and to just breath and feel ALIVE.

"Grendel" said...

When my first son was born it was the greatest moment of my life - until my second was born. Now each day brings something new and wonderful Even through the awful time of diagnosis with autism for our eldest son and knowing that the world wouldn't always acknowledge him for who he is I can't imagine loving him any differently. We knew something was unusual from an early age - at 9 months he built an improbable tower of books, trucks and cuddly toys that I could not replicate. Non-verbal then echolalic it took a year of speech therapy for his frustration to subside - can't shut him up now!

His younger brother is compassionate, empathetic and a right royal pain in the ass at times.

I would not trade anything - even the hard times and tantrums. It is a wild ride but we are working with good speechies, psychs, Occ therapists and teachers and we are seeing amazing results.

Leitia said...

My 5 beautiful children are my everything.

Lily 9, is such a caring, wonderful, chatty, little madam. She is always trying to help and i have to really push her to go and be a child...but she informs me that she wants to learn to look after children so when she is a teacher she will know how to be with the kids.

Charlie 7, is my little soldier, he loves all things sporty and arty. He spends hours with a pencil and paper drawing houses and cars, or out in the garden playing football or bouncing on the trampoline. He is so loving and full of compassion. He almost died at 2 weeks old when he contracted meningitis...but he pulled through and he doesn't let anything get him down.

Alfie 6, My little ASD buddy. He has me crying with laughter at some of the things he says, at his cognitive assessment recently he slumped down in his chair and said "I am exasperated"...amazing considering this time last year he knew only 6 words. And his jokes will either have you laughing or cringing (depending on if it is one that includes random swearwords...i have no idea where he gets them from)

Harry 19mo, He is my sunshine boy, he really does light up the room when he walks in, no matter how down i am feeling he comes over licks my cheek (his version of a kiss) and starts doing round and round the garden. Listening to him trying to speak new words and saying "Oooooooh" when he spots something he likes or something new, it just makes you see everything through his eyes, everything is new and shiny and full of wonder.

Tommy 8mo, Well TomTom is just amazing, he is growing up so fast and i am loving watching every second of it. Every day he does something new and it just fills me with such a sense of joy. Hearing him babbling as he tries to crawl across the floor, hearing him laughing as Alfie blows a raspberry on his belly, watching him reaching to touch my face when i pick him up, then pull me in for a hug...just amazing.

I am truly blessed, i love all 5 of my kids...none of them were planned , but in no way were they a mistake...they were the best SURPRISES i have ever had and i wouldn't change a thing.

Thank you Kim for this wonderful opportunity to remember just how blessed we all are
Xx

Squillo said...

I love how my kids are so different.

Here are a few (and I'm not telling y'all which kid is NT and which is ASD):

* Says, "I love you, Mama" at totally unexpected moments.
* Loves to teach other kids about stuff he/she likes.
* Sings to self constantly, and not always on key.
*Fake English accent.
*Takes absolute, unabashed joy in stripping off clothes and running around naked--greets people at the door in the nude.
* Still pulls up my shirt when tired/stressed, even though he/she was weaned years ago.
*Both of them surprise me every day with what they can do.

Thelma said...

Nice ta see the celebratin. All them kids sound perfect an all the parents sound plum dizzy so full of love for their kids. It's beautiful.

Get ta celebrate myself, do I? Well now, I reckon that Thelma finds joy in my larger-than-lifeness, the trouble my best bud Louise an I get ourselves into, the avoidin of Mama H's walker I do. The gusto with which I drink my wild turkey. How I embrace the dumbasses even as I offer em a good old-fashioned whoop up the side of the head with my purse, virtually, of course.

Sure, an it would be nice ta see more celebratin.

Where's Louise? She's got plenty ta celebrate. Gotta go find her. Clay ain't come over neither. Sadderbutwisergirl.

Sure, but it's a wonder Roger didn't leave his tackiness on this post, as well. Mayhap there's something Roger celebrates about himself? People cain't be all bad. That's for damn sure. Mostly bad, maybe, but most the time they is just confused.

:-) Been sippin the wild turkey before dinner. Can ya tell?

Clay said...

I've been here, just don't always have anything to say...

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