In "Autism Perception: "A Bump in the Road?", Julie Obradovic completely lets it hang out. I'll be the first to agree that people don't see many of the difficulties parents with children of autism have because a great deal of it occurs behind closed doors. And we don't tend to talk about it in great detail as it happens to friends who can't relate, and we do that for many reasons. But this post by Obradovic offers such raw, visceral, oozing pain, rage, and disappointment that it belies her contention that she is happier than she's been in years. If this is representative of her daily mental state, she needs to find someone qualified to help her through this, because this is ugly business.
I've got a busy weekend ahead of me, and plenty of points I'd like to make on this piece and the general love-fest and high-fiving that went on over at AoA on this bit but it will probably be Monday before I can do what I want on this piece, so I'm opening it up for the readers to comment, to pick pieces of Obradovic's post or the commenters to dissect, as I am sure that it didn't run 100% positive over there on the comments section.
Help me out on this one, as rereading her piece over and over in order to do it a fair shake makes my heart hurt.
I'll start with one note: really? Cancer kids? Jealous of them because they have insurance (sweetheart, 40 million plus Americans have none)? So much wrong here.
So much wrong here. It proves Connie's point. In spades.
Julie responded to Angela's post at AoA with a long post I won't rehash here, except to point out this paragraph:
"This is the kind of stuff I can't stand, frankly. I don't care if YOU think Autism isn't worse than cancer or getting hit by a Mac truck. For ME, it was. And I'm allowed to feel that way, and it doesn't make me a bad mom, or an ungrateful mom, or anything else. It makes me human."
But, Julie, it doesn't say much good about your character. So, if it's not representative of it, fix it. Because it may be human, but it isn't proportional, it is incredibly insensitive to those who have lost their child to cancer, and it doesn't help convince a reader that these are feelings you keep buried, especially on the heels of this paragraph from the day before:
"She is dead. That Eve is dead, and I don’t care if people hate me for saying that because that’s how I feel and that’s how I will always feel and there is no closure and there is no comfort just because she can talk now. I want that Eve back!"
You are making the choices, each and every day, about how you will feel about this, about how you will deal with your life, your family, your challenges. And you are teaching your daughter and others with autism how they should feel about themselves. You write, "I think about all of the people who have been able to benefit from my knowledge and our experience." And then follow on the heels of that with your rage and jealousy over people who will benefit from your knowledge? And folks on AoA applaud you. I'm guessing you don't keep this vitriol nearly as well bottled as you think you do.
I don't particularly care if you consider me one of "the stupid people in this world who have nothing better to do than bother parents trying to help their children and wonder what the hell their problem is and for crying out loud just go the hell away and mind your own business." You put it out there on the internet to be read. You deal with fallout of your words.
What on God's green earth have you been giving your child three nights a week for the last 86 weekends that you have to do for another 14? And don't cry to leave you the hell alone about it when you put it out there.
And my son who had a stroke, potentially as a result of the combination of medications he was on and an underlying blood clotting disorder, isn't going to be the person he would have otherwise been. So, in addition to having autism, he has additional cognitive impairment from the stroke. But I'm not calling him dead.
Nor am I saying it's worse than cancer. Maybe Julie's all happiness and light and this post misrepresents her, but based on her response to Angela, it's clear she doesn't feel it does. And, yes, it may be human, but it doesn't make it particularly sensitive to folks who've dealt with cancer or lost a child.
No high horses are necessary here, @Thanks Julia. You appear to be doing just fine on your own.
Update 2.0 12:28 am July 19
When you want a truly nasty post, you can always count on Teresa Conrick to take it up to a 10. If Teresa doesn't like what you have to say, you can count on her to research up on you and then attempt to demolish you, safe in the comforting knowledge that AoA won't let your rebuttals on.
Here she attacks Angela (Sirenity) who wrote a nice letter offering comfort, well, that no one there seemed to see it as such, since Angela pointed out that cancer was worse than autism and Julie was rather, ahem, negative. Any deviation from the standard vaccines caused autism routine and you are immediately the enemy.
"What a bunch of bullshit you posted. Here is your real motivation, not for Julie, Eve, or my daughter. Go off and spout your fake "caring" elsewhere"
And then implies it's somehow because Angela has several arenas to post at while making available evidence that vaccines are not responsible for autism.
You know, AoA, you're really shining as a bastion of reason, rationality, and calm tranquility. Oh wait, my bad, you're not. You're excelling at vitriol, though. At victimizing and marginalizing your children. At making martyrs of yourselves. At making it abundantly clear that your agenda is NOT to help parents cope adaptively, to appreciate their children for who they are where they are, to promote the view of autism as a horrible disease process in which the children are seriously sick from heavy metal toxicity and if you only do god knows what three times a week for 100 weekends. What the hell?
Autism is NOT heavy metal toxicity. Heavy metal toxicity is heavy metal toxicity.
Okay, AoA explain why my reasonable posts don't get on, but Teresa's hatemongering does.