6/07/2009

Vents and gotta-says

A permanent place to post anything anyone wants to vent or has to get off her/his chest. Feel free to do that here!

48 comments:

angela said...

I love this site!!!

AS to my 'gotta-say':
I am tired of people trying to convince themselves and me that I am living a tragic life simply becuase one of my children is autistic. How tragic is it to giggle hysterically over some innocently hilarious comment from my son? How tragic is it to see him work hard and achieve a goal? How tragic is it to be a parent?
To all you whiners that enjoy feeling like a martyr:
Smarten up! You can wallow in the negative aspects of any situation-but that is a CHOICE. You can take what life gives you and embrace it-but that ALSO is a choice. Your child needs your love, accpetance and your parenting. They do not need to feel as if they are your tragedy.

Sheesh.. lol thanks for giving me a place to rant!

angela said...

"
2. Parents get their best information from other parents"
http://www.ageofautism.com/2009/06/why-good-parents-believe-myths-about-autism-and-vaccines.html?cid=6a00d8357f3f2969e2011570b84cc2970b#comment-6a00d8357f3f2969e2011570b84cc2970b

sorry, had to add this one in. umm?? Next we will claim teens do not need to be sex educated because teens get their best information from other teens?

Wonder if to get your ideas on that website you have to take a test to prove you posses no reasoning power.

KWombles said...

Angela,

Glad you like the site; come on over any time you want and say whatever you've got on your chest. :-)

I agree absolutely on the wallowing and the tragedy being a choice people adopt.

I'm going to enjoy my kids when they something funny or unexpected; when they do something so completely unexpected as to leave me amazed. Yes, I'll have a sore spot in my heart at times when I see another child do something my own will not, but I will focus on the positive.

I know where my 19 year old son is at all times, who he is with, and what generally he is doing. I don't have to wait up and worry and wonder. He is with me, safe and happy at home. And he is, he is a happy boy with a best friend and a girl friend, both of whom are disabled as well. He's helpful at the center where he goes and he's helpful at home. There is much he doesn't understand, but he understands that he is loved and respected for who he is. :-)

Connie said...

Here's one reason why I hate AoA. They're almost certainly going to destroy my sister's marriage.

My sis and her husband have three kids, one on the spectrum. Sis has totally bought into the vaccine argument; brother-in-law rejects it. This has created enormous tension in their home, mostly caused by her (sorry to say). She has begun telling him that she "hates" him because he does not "support" her views on vaccines.

She has already begun indoctrinating the two oldest kids about how evil vaccines are, and flies into a rage if her husband tries to counter her views.

She never wastes an opportunity to rail about how doctors and Big Pharma have ruined her life. She has created such a negative atmosphere in the house that the oldest has been begging for counseling (which sister refuses, since doctors are all "quacks").

I could post more, but suffice to say that the poison she's inhaled at AoA is probably going to bring down her marriage. She has been taught there that anyone -- including family members -- who do not agree with her are not just wrong, they're evil.

And that's one reason why AoA is evil.

KWombles said...

What a shame. Your brother-in-law has a huge hurdle to overcome there. Your sister's views, if all she reads is AoA/GR/Safeminds, are only going to become more entrenched. AoA allows few dissenters to comment (my things are not allowed on, regardless of content and pointing it out to the managing editor, Kim Stagliano)yet lets incredibly crazy and dishonest posts on with no countering. If they moderate the crazy so that this is mild compared to what they actually get, that would really be frightening.

I recommend that your brother-in-law get counseling by someone who has experience in mediating conflict in families with special needs children. It may not make much headway with your sister if she's completely set and closed off, but intervention by a professional seems unavoidable in order to reduce tensions in that family. He should go whether she will agree to it or not.

I believe that AoA is causing far more harm than it does good.

Connie said...

It really is a shame, and it breaks my heart. My sis used to be so fun, boisterous and full of life. And in most other areas of life, she's perfectly sane -- she accepts the science that shows global warming is happening, for example. She accepts evolution. It's just in this one area that she's become bent.

I don't walk in her shoes, and I'm sure I'll never fully understand what it's like to have a child with autism. But she's just letting it destroy her -- and she's taking her family down with her. And though she is ultimately the one responsible for the things she believes, AoA and similar sites are complicit. They absolutely are. They encourage their readers to villify anyone who disagrees -- even if that includes spouses.

Connie said...

I wish Kim Stagliano et al would read what I've just written and comment on it . . . .

KWombles said...

You can always email her the link. Her email is there on the main AoA page. She also has a personal blog at http://kimstagliano.blogspot.com/. I would personally be impressed with her if she answered you.

I will never understand the difference between the personal woman and her writings on her personal blog which can and are worth the read and some of the things she has done for AoA and Huff. Perhaps she'll explain that one day.

As for your sister, you can give her the links to kickingkittens, to detritus, to autismherd and autismnostrum and tell her there are other ways to see her world. You can also give her my email address, wombles@sbcglobal.net.

I'd give her a lot of hugs and love, too, because I believe that for some the grief so great, the hurdles so high, that this retreat to anger, to bitterness, to woo ideas are the only coping mechanisms they feel they can use. Maybe support of her and letting her know you hear her pain will help break the wall she is building.

angela said...

AoA is giving me migraines. Can someone please explain to me why these anti-vaccine conspiracy buffs can NOT intake information.
Where are the adults with autism??? omg, are they serious? And... AND 'how come I never saw kids with autism when I was in school' oh my.
If they would approve it, my answer (tried to post after comments to 'DR.Baron Cohen Respons) was:
The reason you dont recall children with autism in elementary school is because children with special needs were rarely integrated into mainstream schooling. They were homeschooled, institutionalized or in 'special' schools.
The adults with autism are there, if you just pay attention. They write books, own companies, attend schools hold jobs. They are even in the news! (link to court case in canada Michelle Dawson). In addition there are many autistic adults in group homes for disabled as well as other levels of care from living with family to living in institutions.
Where they are and what they are doing depends on their level of functioning and programs of support available in their area.

Why do AoA'ers have their favorite unfounded urban legends that cling to?
Argh, Kwombles, you need to make more signs!!

PS I can not find the link that dissects the 14 studies, any suggestions?

KWombles said...

That would have been an excellent post to get on, Angela!

Here's one debunking of Handley's 14 Studies crap: http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/?p=466. It points to others. Several doctors have thoroughly trashed it.

angela said...

Thanks! I have added this to my fav's.

KWombles said...

Excuse me while I vent for a moment and have my gotta say.

Chicken shits.

Mofmars333 is one.
AoA huge chickenshits.

Just saying.

I take umbrage.

http://www.umbrage.org/index.php


There. I feel better. I will now return to Huff and begin taking on Moffie and Doug again.

angela said...

ARGGGH moffie from mars is driving me loopy. she can't tell a fact from a fairy tale, her head is so completely filled with fluff. What is with her posting that LONNNNGGGG post with link after link to sci fi urls?
And tell ME I have no clue what a fact is? lmfao. nutcase. I want to ask her what year she was abducted by aliens in, but so far I am trying to behave...

KWombles said...

Angela,

Well, at least it wasn't a Fresca moment, since my mouth for once was not full of soda while reading comments! Thank you for making me bust out laughing! I've been a good girl this evening writing web pages for my Freshman Comp courses so it was nice to take a break and read your comment before wading back into Huff before going back to writing web pages.

I'm sure you noticed I ended up making Doug and Moffie my chickenshits of the week in a big -)post. Venting wasn't enough. :-)

KWombles said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TijcoS8qHIE

house hippoes! Love it!

KWombles said...

Already at my daily quota with Moffie in terms of frustration.

So, pardon me while I have a figurative stamping fit. She actually had the balls to say that Doug's explanation for pro-autism made sense to her.

She is VILE. Absolutely completely vile. Stomping now. She is also a complete and total frigging idiot. And I would tell her that to her face. Absofrakkinlutely. I would so tell her. My grandma may have been bipolar and unpleasant to deal with but even she wasn't this batshit crazy and without redemption. She would not have equated vaccination to getting shot, to the holocaust, to 9/11. Nor echoed agreement for such a vile position that Doug has taken on the pro-autism bunk. So, I take it completely back, Moffie. You do not remind me of my grandma. Shame on you.

Gonzo said...

Yay, an open thread!

I'll be back.
:P

Gonzo said...

Oops, sooner than I thought...
I've a request:
Can you maybe add a "subscribe" button to your sidebar?
You'll find it in the list, when you click "add gadget".
It'll make it easier to read follow up comments and such.
:)

KWombles said...

Gonzo,

Thanks for the suggestion! Done; you can now subscribe. :-)

angela said...

LMFAO omg, what is with moffie from mars?
we need to make a blog with nothing but links on it kwombles. Links to FACTS. so that evertime she posts her quackshit on huff we can take turns countering with
"facts proving you wrong found here"

and her posting 6 in a row so she owns the page is driving me nuts!!
Enjoy, I have to get offline and deal with my tempertantrum!! lmfao

Gonzo said...

Yay!!
Now I can find new post quicker.
Must have my daily giggles with my morning coffee.

KWombles said...

Angela, post the links over at Science Rocks in the general section where guests can see them.
:-)

KWombles said...

Gonzo,

I will work hard to give you your morning giggles!

Sirenity said...

Who the hell is jened or w/e. omg. What a flipping twit.

I will get on that this weekend, btw kwombles. I have about 500 to sort through first. (i'll do my best to make sure all are credible.) So much duckshit to wade through!!

KWombles said...

Quack, Quack. :-)

sounds good!

I like the new blog (thought the other one was just fine where it was, but get giving someone less ammo to use) and am your first follower!

Sirenity said...

lol, it's just a copy of the blog that is already there
unless you found something i'm not aware of?

KWombles said...

Didn't find anything new. :-) Are you going to copy entries to both for each blog?

Hey, do Wellsphere, too. Kim S. from AoA posts there, we can wrap our posts around hers and provide counterpoint.

KWombles said...

I posted over at Orac's:

Dr. Gordon,

Since you've changed your mind on chelation, you'll be prominently displaying on your website that you no longer consider chelation to be a therapy that parents with children with autism should consider and you will refuse to administer it? In addition, you'll be using your Huff blogger status and your newfound knowledge, right, to create a new article on why chelation is not something that should be used and you'll post it to Huff sometime this week, right? It seems the only reasonable thing to do.

And really, could your website be any more narcissistic? You are a panderer. I suppose that's fine for your rich client base, but I want a pediatrician who knows what he's doing, does the necessary literature review in frigging medical journals and makes evidence-based decisions where possible. And exercises some restraint where there isn't clear science. And admits when he's out on a limb and arms me with the necessary tools to come to a decision together about treatment for my children.

You can do better and you should. If you had any self-respect, you'd spend some time reading all of the relevant literature on vaccines and on autism before you shamelessly tool yourself out with Jenny McCarthy.

I feel better now. Thanks.

KWombles said...

And another to Dr. Jay:

Dr. Gordon,

Kathleen is not anonymous. Click on her name and it takes you to her blog. Heck, for that matter, click on mine and it takes you to my blog, where I link to my website and offer my credentials (I know, just a lowly adjunct instructor of psychology and English, but hey, what are you going to do?).

Kathleen was not nasty to you (I'm not sure you know what nasty is if you think this was-- try being called a baby killer by an anti-vaxxer because I support vaccinationm that's nasty).

I would respectfully submit, sir, that I want my pediatrician learning from medical journals, conferences, opportunities for continuing education, from other doctors with more experience, etc. Not from a blog, for all that I bow in deference to Orac's wisdom.

And, Dr. Gordon, I guarantee you I'd speak exactly the way I do online in person. One of the privileges in being mother to three on the spectrum who speak their minds is that it has decidedly rubbed off.

Oh, and I have never been financially stressed because of my children's autism. It's called ponying up and doing the hard work, working with the school system to get the services they can provide and then spending all my spare time, close to forty plus hours per week working one on one with each my children to improve their eye contact, their compliance, their social skills, to reduce their stimming behaviors in situations where those behaviors get in the way. Not a penny required except for that spent buying textbooks second hand on ABA and cognitive behavioral therapy and autism. Just bucketloads of time, effort, and sheer determination to help them achieve their potential.

It doesn't go unnoticed you answered none of my comments to you.

I do applaud that you wish to learn more. You should have done that BEFORE you went out on the circuit with Jenny.

Mom26children said...

Gotta Say...
Why are these people so PISSED OFF ???

KWombles said...

I've just gotta say that it might be small, it might be petty, but it made me laugh when I read this by Conrick:

"just shows how a lack of empathy and understanding of the science on environmental/vaccine insults (toxic encephalopathy, immune dysfunction, mitochondria dysfunction, oxidative stress) is still keeping a good many people ignorant."


http://www.ageofautism.com/2009/07/why-asperger-syndrome-is-a-legal-disability.html#comments

Conrick, science, and empathy don't seem to have any commonalities at all. Might be small. Might be petty. But it feels damn fine to say it.

Gonzo said...

I love the new layout! Pretty!!!

Corina Becker said...

Can I swear here? Please tell me that I can swear here. I try being polite, but every once in a while, it's easier than anger therapy...


To every anti-neurodiversity out there,
PLEASE, for the LOVE OF GOD, actually READ what we write before going off half-cocked on an raging tangent that has absolutely NOTHING to do with ANYTHING that we've said, written about or even HINTED. If you all have the partial literacy skills needed to even understand a tiny bit of the fear-mongering WOO out there, you SHOULD be able to READ what we're putting out here! What, would you like me to write a PICTURE book for you so that it'll be easier to understand?

Also, to Mr. Best, who has just had the NERVE to call me a dumb broad on my latest post: you are a slimy, disgusting VILE excuse for a human being, a man so twisted you can't even tell your mouth from your ass with all the shit that comes out!

There, that felt good. Can't say all of it is out, because some feelings are too big for words, but it's a start. :D

KWombles said...

Corina,

Swear away! :-)

Glad you felt a bit better. Sometimes you just have to let it out. Did you immediately delete Best's comment once you saw it? I posted after it yesterday.

Corina Becker said...

yeah, I deleted it. After I took a screenshot, saved it and wrote a response.

thanks. I'm not in the habit of swearing online, so actually typing swear words is pretty tough.

Corina Becker said...

Here's something of a pet peeve with me and some of the anti-ND commenters:

Okay, they bother to skim read and then go off on a rant that maybe has something to do with the original post. But they basically exercise a diarrhea of the fingers on our blogs and even on their own sites, and then don't even stick around have a reasonable conversation or discussion.
Excuse me, but if someone in real life came up to me, ranted to me and then walked away, that person would be considered extremely rude.

Plus, it wouldn't exactly endear me to their opinions. So how in the world do they expect it to work online?

Corina Becker said...

For the record, I highly recommend every parent of autistic children, especially those newly-diagnosed, to GO TO THE LIBRARY, TAKE OUT THE DSM-IV AND READ THE DESCRIPTION AND DIAGNOSING CRITERIAS FOR ASD!!!!

For crying out loud, that's what I did when I was first diagnosed, I found me a copy at the university library and took a good look. Guess what I found? I found that Asperger's and Autism have the SAME CRITERIAS!!! the SAME characteristics. The only major points of difference was the number of checkmarks and the lack of delayed speech. That's ALL!! so LIKE HELL Asperger's ain't on the Autism Spectrum and like HELL autism is an autoimmune disorder.

And these people are trying to pass as being intelligent? For crying out loud, actually READ the official DIAGNOSIS!!!

huh, and I thought that LJ was cheaper than therapy...

KWombles said...

:-) I'm guessing that thinking it's a conspiracy orchestrated against them makes it easier to not deal with the hard work that parenting a child, any child, is. Parenting one with challenges and special needs is different, but I don't know that it is really any harder if you are doing the job of parenting right. So many people don't want to think that parenting might be hard work. Add the extra layers of effort involved in helping a child with additional difficulties, and it isn't what they, the parents, were planning on. Their children were supposed to be accessories, not life altering.

Corina Becker said...

Sigh, makes me strongly believe that some people need to that family studies and home economics, including Parenting classes with Baby-Think-It-Overs before they're along to even have sex. Really, some people shouldn't breed if they're so into themselves not to realize that parenting is WORK and a child isn't some accessory or little clone of themselves.

Which reminds me, Orac once commented how it would be the end of intelligence if Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carry had a kid, that the entire world would be sucked into this vortex of stupid.
I can assure him that it wouldn't happen. As Jenny and Jim have stated, if they have a kid, they won't vaccinate, but then they'll be stupid enough to wander into an infected area and the kid will die or be cripplingly disabled from a totally preventable disease. Ironically, the kid would also be autistic (but that'll just be MEAN and NASTY of me, and assuming that Evan's diagnosis is correct).

davidbrown said...

Here's something I wrote up, outlining the case fore suing NAA, AoA et al for the September 8 "article":
This article constitutes libel and slander against Offit and others, for the following reasons:
1. "According to CHOP documents" is a misuse of CHOP's name (and fails to give AoA due "credit")
2. It assumes that CHOP did not divide the royalties equally, which would have constituted fraud by the hospital.
3. It condemns Sanofi and GSK based on irrelevant information on Merck.
4. "Offit has stated unequivocally that... he has no conflict of interest with Merck. that Offit" is clearly intended to indicate that he at some point denied ever working for Merck.
6. "Offit, however, has continued to back MMR as completely safe while failing to inform the public that the MMR manufacturer Merck has made him so wealthy he said “it was just like winning the lottery.” Distorts and fails to acknowledge interview with Fagone as source, which as a PUBLIC interview disproves claim of "failing to inform" by its mere existence.
7. "Offit also voted to include THE rotavirus vaccine". Singular article strongly implies that Offit's vaccine was only one in existence at the time, and the one Offit voted to approve.

In summary, you can be sued for distributing this libel, and you have been warned.

Corina Becker said...

I know this isn't about AoA, and it ain't how I usually conduct myself online or how I WANT to conduct myself online, but dear freaking god, I need to get this out somehow, because it feels like it's festering inside me, corrupting everything that I do and touch.


I REALLY FUCKING HATE AUTISM SPEAKS!!! there are no words for the sheer loathing and rage I feel every time I hear their name, no way for me to express my fury. There is no excuse for their behaviour, no compensation for the gross insult and abuse that they have dealt not only myself but the entire autistic community.

I do not seek vengeance, but for justice, to repair the damage that they have dealt, their contribution to hatred and fear.

aaaah, that gets some of it out.

davidbrown said...

New article for "Rotateq cycle" on "Evil possum":
18/3=29!!: Post-mortem for Dan Olmstead's amazing math
2d draft posted ca. 1 hour ago.

Corina Becker said...

Gotta love the people who say that they're not going to get vaccinated because they don't get the flu very often, never mind the fact that they can spread it to other people.

Like, gee, fuck, just because you haven't died from the flu yet doesn't mean that it isn't possible. Or that you won't spread it to someone who does! Gee, they want to be a part of society, then take some responsibility.

Also, yes, in a way, the flu is a way of "culling the weak" as anti-vaxxers are so prone to state; the dumbasses refuse to vaccinate themselves and their children, and thus remove themselves from the gene pool as they die from preventable diseases. Darwinism, anyone?

Corina Becker said...

Don't get me started on their mis-interpretation of the Holocaust. The Holocaust was a genocide in order to create the "Master race", not line the pockets of companies. So if anything, it's more appropriate to compare the Holocaust to the Eugenics programs that have caused abortions of people with Down Syndrome, and, as we fear for in the future, possibly autistic people.

Using the Holocaust as a metaphor for the "rising" autism rates doesn't make any sense (never mind that there is no rise in the rates), or even in a conspiracy theory, since the Holocaust was about GETTING RID of people with disabilities and autism, not CREATING them.

Of course, then the whole greedy big pharma conspiracy would be completely debunked, wouldn't it? ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!!

KWombles said...

Been meaning to say; these vents don't fall on deaf ears. I read them as they're posted, so know that you are heard. :-)

Corina Becker said...

aawwwww, so it's not all going into the great void of the internets? right, I'd have to post on an anonymous board like 4chan or something...


oh yes, another gotta says.
If there was justice in the world, my little black notebook would work. Anime fans of a certain genre will get what I'm talking about.
Trying to come up with more names to write in it, but sometimes, I just don't wanna wade through that much hate.

davidbrown said...

Here's my correction to Olmsted's latest attack on Offit. I plan on using it to generate new complaints with google news until they allow it to appear.

Since you have clearly used my work, you have an obligation to acknowledge the following corrections:
1. Offit's "disclosure" was made to me, in response to a question about only the CHOP share. (To the best of my recollection, I already was aware of his connections to Wistar at the time.) It was not "partial" with regards to the question.
2. It is probable that Offit is receiving continuing royalties for Rotateq from Wistar. However, by the figures Olmstead has given, the combined income for 2007-2009 should be ca. $1M, not $1.6M as seems to be assumed. Also, the best reason to suppose Offit has been paid, that he held a position at Wistar around the time the patent was filed, has not been acknowledged.
3. That the CHOP share was distributed by an agreement between the inventors, rather than direct application of policy, is a possibility I initially considered, but rejected and retracted as of ca. August 18.
4. Offit's disclosure, and other information relevant to the CHOP sale, was made available to AoA in August, which is far from "recent".

davidbrown said...

A comment to Stagliano on whining about "censorship":
You are disgustingly hypocritical. You and your staff routinely refuse to allow comments with dissenting opinions and corrections on point of fact to appear, but YOU complain about censorship??!! Shut down "comment moderation", and then you will have a right to protest "censorship".